OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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