Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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