sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
