***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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