I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The adults are the big ones right?