I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We are all done wearing pants today
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.