dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We got so high we made milksteak
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day