Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
