Your dad touched me again.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
