just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My life is pants optional.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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