Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Randomize
