i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
