When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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