fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
