Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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