Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
