dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
