The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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