worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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