she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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