I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
