i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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