After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
