but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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