I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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