Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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