"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize