had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
