why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
