You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
vagina is talking i cant
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
