just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
