y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
