I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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