walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You took a bar mat shot.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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