i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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