i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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