Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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