Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
