And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I believe in your delicious
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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