covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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