You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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