roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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