Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
