just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
