why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
