Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize