i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
