OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
