yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
