I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
