Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
