I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
