On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
