i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
