im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
