sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The power of my boobs compel you
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize