Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
