Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
