you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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