if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
