The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize