Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
