you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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