We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
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It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
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And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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